Venting an ear-ful

I usually try not to make a big deal about my hearing loss. After all, it is what it is. Normally I won't even tell people unless the situation absolutely calls for it. There are people much worse off than I am and I see no reason to dwell on the fact that I can only hear in my left ear.

But, I have been feeling a little frustrated over the last few days and instead of bottling up my emotions as I usually do, I thought it might be healthier to take a moment to vent them here. So please bear with me. (For those of you interested in a little backstory about my ear, you can find all the details on my other blog.)

I think most people would agree that language acquisition is difficult. There is no short way around it. It takes a willingness to learn, long hours, and motivation. As little as we think about producing our native language, it can come as a surprise just how much of an effort it takes to speak another.

Now, add to this already arduous task the issue of single-side deafness (SSD), and you have the source of my frustration. If language acquisition is hard when you have normal hearing, just think about what it entails when you can only hear a portion of what people are saying. Especially when the language you are listening to is one as rapid as Spanish where three words can often sound like one.

On Tuesday, I had my first Spanish lesson with a lovely German woman named Irma. It was my first official Spanish lesson since leaving Quito (everyday is chock full of unofficial "lessons"). For one wonderful hour, it was just the two of us in a quiet room conversing in Spanish. One of the biggest issues for people with SSD is not being able to hear when there is any sort of background noise present, so a quiet room is gold for me.

There wasn't a radio blaring on the table behind me; I didn't have a TV to contend with or multiple Spanish speakers chattering over each other; nor did I have the sounds of a bustling city preventing me from listening to every word that was being spoken. For a moment I believed once again that I really could learn this language. It was one of the few times since I've moved to Ibarra that I felt I was actually starting to "get" the language and not just muddling through.

I'm sure my host family would disagree on this point as they are kind and tell me that I'm doing well, especially my sister Fernanda. But I feel like most of the time I'm just doing an excellent job of faking it 'till I make it (and who knows when that will be). Or that I'm simply cycling through the same well-worn phrases day after day with no progress. And don't even get me started on the amount of times everyday I have to ask people to repeat themselves.

Unfortunately for me, we live in a loud world and most of the environments I'm in on a daily basis are noisy: my classroom, the dinner table, the sidewalk, the store, etc. And, unfortunately for me, I don't have the luxury of turning down the volume in any of these places.

Soo...what's a half deaf girl in a non-English speaking country to do? Take advantage of the quiet moments, I suppose. When I can clearly hear whatever it is that is being said--whether it's at my Spanish lesson or curled up in the living room with my host sister. If I can pick up enough of the language in those moments then perhaps when I'm in the not-so-quiet moments I'll be able to do a better job of deciphering whatever it is that's being said. Here's hoping anyway!