I did it, guys. I went on my first cruise! For someone who is both claustrophobic and slightly terrified of being out in the middle of large bodies of water, this is a very big deal. I know there are people out there who go on cruises the way snowbirds trek to Florida. But I have never been one of those people. Besides, I feel like every time I turn on the news (which is technically never, but hypothetically speaking) there's some tragic story about a food poisoning outbreak on a cruise ship or a cruise ship that had to be evacuated due to bad weather or pirates attacking a cruise ship (that happened, right?). Either way, no matter how much my friends, co-workers, and acquaintances would chat up their amazing cruise, I remained firmly on the fence about the whole thing. Did traveling to an exotic tropical location while having my every need catered to sound like an ideal way to travel? Yes. Did I want to die a slow and miserable death of E. coli poisoning while simultaneously drowning in a windowless cabin in the bowels of a cruise ship? No. No, I most certainly did not.
However, as this year's spring break continued to creep closer and my faithful travel buddy, Emily, and I had still failed to solidify affordable travel plans to a sunny destination, a cruise began to sound more and more appealing. Thanks to her persistence (and the fact that our other travel options continued to be quite pricey), we eventually settled on a 5-day cruise to the Caribbean with Carnival.
I would be lying if I said that I didn't experience some mild anxiety at the thought of being stuck in a small cabin on a large boat in the middle of the ocean for five days. But as time passed and we booked an exciting excursion in Cozumel and I realized all of the really cool stuff that would be on our boat, the whole thing started to seem more like an adventure and less of the Titanic/Jaws nightmare it had morphed into in my mind. Honestly, once I went through the packing checklist that Carnival so kindly emailed to us a few weeks before departure, I felt like I had this whole thing in the bag.
But traveling via cruise ship really is a whole different ballgame that comes with its own unique set of rules and etiquette and there are a few things I wish I had known prior to boarding. (To be fair, most of this information probably could have been found in a quick Google search but, being the absolute newbies that we were, I don't think we even knew what questions to ask.) So, here goes. A short(ish) list of a few things we wish we had known before we set sail:
1) Come dressed for the pool (or at least the poolside)
Now, Carnival had sent us a nice little message telling us to bring our swimwear and a change of clothes in our carry-on luggage. Since I wasn't checking any bags, I ignored this little blurb since I'd always have everything with me between my backpack and small rolling suitcase. Wrong. Once we showed up at the cruise terminal, all of our suitcases (small and large) were tagged and whisked away to be later delivered to our staterooms. (All rooms on the cruise ship are called staterooms, regardless of actual stateliness.) We were told that they would be delivered some time between 3-6pm (it was 12pm when we checked in and boarded the boat). I didn't think too much of it. I was in my comfortable flying clothes (leggings and a t-shirt) and still had my backpack with the essentials with me (sunglasses, toiletries, etc). What were a few hours? Well, as soon as we reached the top deck and stepped out into the brilliant Florida sunshine and encountered the pool, I realized just how long those hours would be. The more savvy of the cruisers were already in full vacation mode: swimsuits on, sunscreen slathered, and drinks in hand. Over the next several hours, while they were splashing and tanning, I sat languishing in my sneakers and black leggings wishing I had come as ready to jump into summer as they had. So, my fellow cruise newbies, make sure that you pack those flip flops and swimsuits in your personal item and not your carry-on or checked luggage if you want the party to start the instant your feet hit the deck.
2) Forget room service
With all of the many and incredibly tasty food options that will be at your disposal, there is really no need to ever wait around for room service. (Unless, you're laid up in bed with, y'know, E. coli or something.) The restaurants are open for large stretches of time for each meal and literally have something for everyone, so you can eat to your heart's content. Being the ignorant newbs that we were (and not realizing the heavenly breakfast spread that awaited us upstairs), we ordered breakfast from room service on our first morning. Not only did they fail to bring us our order, but when we called down and placed the order again, they brought us the wrong thing! While we were staring at our slices of dry toast and peanut butter, all of the better informed guests were chowing down on bacon and made-to-order breakfast burritos.
3) Bring your own lanyard (that works!)
Carnival did kindly tell each of us to bring a lanyard to use with our Sail and Sign card so we knew this beforehand. I faithfully brought a lanyard that I had from a conference I had gone to earlier in the month. What I didn't realize was that the clip on the end of my lanyard was in no way able to grasp on to the slick plastic card that I was given when we boarded. Emily and I both ended up having to buy a Carnival lanyard (which I'm sure they were only too happy to sell us) that had a clip with a clear plastic card holder attached to it. Yes, it turns out my lanyard would have sufficed if I had only also kept the plastic name tag holder from the conference as well. Oh well. Lesson learned. Take a note from me and bring your own lanyard with card holder.
4) Make sure you know exactly how you're getting ashore
I'm actually not entirely sure if even savvy cruisers can get this information beforehand, but we discovered on the night before we arrived at our first destination--the Caymans--that we would not be docking the cruise ship at the port. Instead, water shuttles would transport us the short distance from ship to shore since their dock could not accommodate such a large ship. For someone such as myself who does not get seasick, this was more of an inconvenience than anything. I actually found bouncing around on the waves quite enjoyable. However, if you're the type of person who has an intimate relationship with Dramamine, this was not a pleasant surprise.
5) Channel your inner Dora the Explorer
And by this I mean: take the time to thoroughly explore where everything is on the ship, and the sooner the better. Emily and I realized on the second to last day of the cruise that we had literally been walking the opposite direction and then backtracking our way to the top deck several times a day when in fact we were a very short elevator ride away. We also realized other fun little things like the library didn't just have books but board games as well. And the adults had their own separate lounge area with whirlpools and wicker beach chairs (with cushions!). And the USA-themed piano bar was not, in fact, the same thing as the United States bar. (Really, guys?) We also failed to thoroughly explore our room and discovered (again, on the penultimate day of our cruise) that our desk cabinet housed a mini-fridge and the desk drawer was home to a hair dryer. Literally, the last places we thought of to look because who puts a hair dryer in a desk?! (Was I a little annoyed about that because I really could have used one the day we got back from the beach? Yes.)
6) Feel free to dress to impress
While I firmly adhere to my fashion mantra of comfort over cuteness and brought only one nice dress for our "Cruise Elegant" evening, I was surprised to see that a fair amount of cruisers got all dolled up most evenings to go to dinner. I must say, there were a few times that I felt a little underdressed heading to the dining room alongside men in slacks and women in heels. Suddenly my (very comfortable) shorts and tank top seemed a little out of place. That's not to say that I was the only guest dining in casual gear, but if dressing to the nines is your thing, you will certain have ample opportunities to do so.
7) Wake up early and get the good chairs
Since I've only been on one cruise and am clueless about the layout of other ships, this bit of advice may be a moot point for you. However, on the Carnival Paradise which had it's one and only pool located on the top deck, the prime beach chair spots were those located around the pool (the pool was also next to two of the bars...so...that might have also influenced things). Either way, on days when you are at sea and not at one of your destinations, chances are you're going to spend the majority of the day in a beach chair relaxing (as you should). With that said, it is crucial to secure a deck chair in a location that is conveniently located next to the pool, food, drinks, and live entertainment. Wherever that spot is on your boat, make sure that you get there early and secure your chairs for the day. You don't want to be that newb who shows up at 11:00am and spends an hour mournfully walking back and forth between occupied seats desperately hoping that someone will suddenly have a change of heart and decide that, yes, they would rather go sit in their cold, windowless stateroom instead of enjoying a chilled margarita as they sit poolside basking in the sunshine. One can hope, I guess.
That's all I've got folks! If you're a cruise pro, please feel free to leave your own tips and advice below.
In case you weren't entirely sure from the rambling and satirical nature of this post, I had an amazing time on our cruise and can't wait to do another. It's definitely a unique way to travel geared towards those looking for a few days of easy, stress-free downtime. While I can't say that this would be my primary choice when it comes to ways of seeing the world, it's certainly a nice break from my usual mode of travel which requires a lot more effort and organization on my part. If you do end up booking a cruise in the near future, I hope that these tips make your trip just that much more enjoyable. Bon voyage!
