"Beauty" and a drink: My First Chinese Dinner

Eating a meal in a foreign country is often an event, usually an experience, and almost always speaks volumes about the culture of that particular place.

Sitting down and sharing food with a group of people will generally tell you all you need to know about what a society values, the rules of social interaction, gender roles, etc. 

This past Wednesday was our "beginning of the year" staff meal. All of the teachers in the International Education department were invited by the school to have dinner at a local restaurant. I was thrilled. While I (mostly) enjoy the food in the dining hall, it can get monotonous eating there twice a day, everyday. So, yes, I got a little excited to hear that I would be eating in the "outside world" and that someone else was footing the bill.

Prior to this meal, I gleaned from Loren and Maffi that alcohol was to play a huge role at our little gathering. Apparently, business dinners do not happen sans drinking. I've heard that there is actually a Chinese saying that goes, "No social ties can be formed in the absence of alcohol." In fact, people will hire other people to drink for them at these events if they are unable to do so. Yeah, it's that important. 

After classes finished on Wednesday, all of the teachers and our superiors walked around the block (like, literally around the block) to the restaurant. The men smoked outside while we waited for everyone to gather and for the restaurant owners to prepare our tables. 

Smoking, especially for men, is very common here. It is a rarity to find a grown man who doesn't smoke. While neither the teachers or the students are supposed to smoke at school, you can often catch a whiff of cigarette smoke as you pass the boys' bathrooms during break times or after lunch.

When our entire party had gathered we were ushered upstairs to a small air-conditioned (thank goodness!) room. The men all sat at one table and the women, who were in the majority, occupied the other two. Most of the men hold higher administrative positions and are the "superiors" I mentioned earlier, but even the men who were simply teachers sat at that table. The only women "allowed" to sit there was the head of the English department, Ella, and her assistant, Sunny (the woman who hired me). I'm sure this isn't news to anyone, but there's definitely still a strong sense of male dominance in Chinese society.

We were each given our own set of flatware: a saucer, and two small bowls, and "silverware": a spoon and chopsticks. The food was delivered family-style on large platters or in large bowls, but we did not use serving spoons to pile up our plates and then eat. Instead, we would take our chopsticks, grab a bite to eat, eat said bite, and then go back in for another bite. The bowls were only used for the soups and the small plate was there simply to hold bits of bones and leftovers. My chopstick skills are quite good, but even so, it was a bit tiresome having to lean in to grab something off of a platter every time I wanted to eat. There were also a few "tricky" dishes, like the whole fish and the meat served in sauce, that refused to cooperate with my multiple chopstick attempts and forced me to grab my spoon and angrily scoop up the offending food bit.

As soon as we were seated, the food began to arrive. And it didn't stop arriving! I had no idea how many courses to expect for this dinner, but somewhere in the back of my Western-conditioned mind I was thinking: appetizer, entree, dessert. Ha! 

Thinking back now, I can't even recall each dish because there were so many. I do remember potato soup, seafood soup (with squid, mussels and shrimp), pork, shrimp, fish, chicken, noodles, mushrooms, a few different types of vegetables... I truly lost count. As soon as I was sure we had reached the end, the waitress' head would pop up over the edge of the staircase and there she would be with yet another food-laden tray while we scrambled to re-arrange platters to make more room.

In between this somewhat chaotic stream of dishes, our bosses, Mr. Gao, Mr. Tao, and Mr. Zhong, began to make their way around the room to start making toasts. Up to this point, the "womens' tables" had only been offered tea and coconut milk to drink. All of the cases of beer had been dutifully deposited at the "men's table" where they drank a few cold ones to kick off the meal. Now, they were ready to share their bounty.

The process went something like this. One of the men would come to our table. We would all stand as a sign of respect. He would make sure all of our glasses were topped off with beer before he delivered a short toast. Then we were all expected to drink. People who did not drink the entire contents of their glass were mocked and cajoled until they had done so. And then the process would begin again.

Thankfully, I wasn't the only one who wasn't fond of beer and many of the teachers, including myself, would joke and plead off drinking anymore. The men were quite persistent, though. They would call the women mei nu (pretty girl) and, for me, the English word, "beauty" to convince us to share one more drink with them. It actually turned into a bit of a competition between Mr. Gao and Mr. Zhong to see who could get the women to drink more. Mr. Gao employed a clever technique in which he toasted us each individually so that we had to drink up (as it would be incredibly impolite to refuse a direct toast from your superior!).

At the end of the night, when the dinner was winding down and people were beginning to disperse, Mr. Gao attempted to reel me in for one more round of drinking with him. "Three glasses," he told me, a huge grin on his face. "Three more glasses of beer and then we'll be finished." At this point I had already had four (?) glasses and certainly did not need another. I smiled right back and politely declined. Loren was sitting right next to him so I told him that he and Loren could compete with each other instead. Mr. Gao immediately shook his head, wide-eyed, "No, no! It's not competition, it's friendship!"

And there it was. The staunch Chinese belief that alcohol is the lubricant of relationships. 

It's one thing to read about a social custom in a guidebook or in the ramblings of an expat's blog. Or to wax poetic about cultural differences or the wonder of culture shock. But when you find yourself actually confronted with one of those moments, it always gives you pause. Here it is, you think. Here is one thing that makes this place special. That makes it different. That makes it not home. Here is one thing that makes me stop and consider their culture and my culture and evaluate just what it is that keeps our American relationships "well-oiled".  

I love having moments like these. As I mentioned months ago in one of my Ecua-blogs, often during the course of living abroad you find yourself falling into the humdrum, day-to-day rut that we all find ourselves in. You forget, Hey, I'm in China!, and you no longer stop to appreciate the fact that you are thousands of miles from home in a country and culture completely apart from your own, and there is just so much to learn and experience, and none of it should be taken for granted. 

I've decided that's going to be one of my goals this year. To constantly be mindful of those Hey! I'm in China! moments. I have a little over ten months in this beautiful country and, as Ecuador showed me, ten months is not nearly as long as we've been led to believe. 

So I'd like to end this entry with a toast. (It seems only right.) A toast to all of us, whether abroad or at home. A toast to being appreciative of where we are and who we are and where we are going and what we are learning to become. Here's to Hey! I'm ____! moments.

Cheers!

My Xiamen address

I've had several requests over the past few weeks for my address here in Xiamen and I finally have it to share. My apologies for the delay, but I wanted to verify that it was correct and that I was using the correct format. (Actually, I'm still not 100% sure this is the correct format but apparently most Chinese people aren't either and their mail seems to get sent off just fine.) All of the important information is included, though, so if you do decide to send something it should make its way to me eventually!

Amanda McCarther

Xiamen Yingcai School

No. 63 3rd North Road, Xiamen

361022 Fujian

China

Mid-autumn festival and exploring Xiamen

This past Monday was the mid-autumn festival here in China.

I know what you're all thinking.

MID-autumn?! It's not even the beginning of autumn yet.

Remember, though, China works on the lunar calendar, not the solar, and on the 15th day of the eighth month of every year, the Chinese (and Koreans and Japanese and Vietnamese) celebrate this holiday.

I can't really comment on the festival's origins or traditions since I didn't really partake in any. But I'll include a link here so that you can read up on it if you're interested.

The two things that I did do was eat moon-cakes and play bobing, also know as "moon-cake gambling." The interesting thing is that we teachers actually played bobing at the school on the last day of class before the holiday. Apparently, gambling on school property is not frowned upon. And what's more, the school actually gave out cash prizes to the winners! I wound up with 40RMB, Maffi won 30RMB, and Loren was the big winner with 100RMB. We were also all given a cash "bonus" for the holiday as well.

I purchased the mooncakes at one of the local grocery stores. Mooncakes come in all shapes, sizes, and flavors so I chose chocolate, sweet potato, and jasmine tea. Traditionally, mooncakes have egg yolk in the middle to symbolize the moon. In the pictures below (of my chocolate mooncake) you can see the little bit of yellow peeking out.

We foreign teachers decided a better way to celebrate our three day holiday from school would be to explore the south of the island.

Now, Xiamen is an island, but there are also parts of Xiamen located on the mainland and that's where I live. All of the touristy spots, however, are on the island and Maffi and Loren assured me that the south of the island was the place to be.

So on Sunday morning we hopped on bus 946 and took a quick 30 minute ride south. It was a gorgeous, sweltering, 90 degree day. Perfect for sightseeing--and regular bouts of heat exhaustion. 

We began our excursion at "Little Taiwan" where we perused the seemingly endless alleyway of wall to wall food and fruit stalls. The majority of the vendors catered to seafood lovers and I saw everything from lobsters to octopus tentacles to whole fried squids. There was also more traditional fare like dumplings and ice cream. I was completely overwhelmed with the array of sights and smells that seemed to float from every direction. I was definitely ready for a snack after our little bus ride but every time I was sure that I had seen the most delicious thing to eat and was ready to buy, my eye caught something else. The end result being that I made it down the entire alleyway without making a single purchase.

Yes. Those are octopus tentacles. On a stick.

I think I could get a week of meals out of one of those bad boys.

We left Little Taiwan for Zhong Shan Lu which is the "walking street" of Xiamen (appropriately called that because it's a pedestrians-only street). There we found an eclectic blend of restaurants, cafes, clothing stores, jewelry stores, food marts and, of course, WalMart. The brands ranged from  obscure, foreign companies I'd never heard of to things like Nike and Sephora. Along the way there were also a few stages set up for televised events to advertise different products.

Occasionally, we would come across an employee standing at the entrance to a store loudly clapping their hands at the passersby. In answer to my questioning look, Loren explained that the "clappers" were used to attract people's attentions and draw customers into the store. Ever the actor, I had to restrain myself from bowing or curtsying as we walked by our clearly adoring audiences.

Along "walking street," Loren found a small food stall that he had visited before which made exquisite spring rolls for 3.5RMB (about 57 cents). With our hunger satisfied we opted for another short bus ride that would take us closer to the beach.

Before rushing off to the sand and waves, we visited the Nanputuo temple, a gorgeous religious complex full of shrines, statues and exquisitely designed buildings. I know I've been in China for almost two weeks but aside from the language barrier and the people it hadn't really hit me that I was in China until I saw the entryway to the temple. 

Here at last was the China that we see in the movies and drool over in the guidebooks. Here was the quintessential image of the East that's been firmly stamped in our minds since we were kids. Finally, finally, I had made it to that fantasized version of China. 

The grounds of the temple are extensive and due to the heat we only explored a small portion of it. Still, what we did see was breathtaking. Unlike some temples, this one allowed photography and I wandered around snapping shots of the architecture and of the devout paying obeisance to the array of gods perched behind glass panes or sequestered away in candlelit alcoves. 

We did wander a little ways up the mountainside and came across a small shrine tucked away in a small cave. Here people (or perhaps the monks?) had left statues that apparently had continued to grow into a collection over the years. 

(apologies for the poor quality--it was really dark in there!)

The main building of the temple actually involves a hike up the mountainside so, with a promise to return in the cooler month of November, we contented ourselves with the ground level buildings and then went off in search of lunch. 

One of the biggest problems I've faced so far in China is the simple fact that I can't read anything! So something as simple as finding a place to eat can be quite difficult. Especially if the entire menu is in Chinese and has no pictures. So the two things we usually look for when scoping out a restaurant is 1) whether they have menus with pictures and 2) whether or not the restaurant is full. A busy restaurant is typically a good restaurant and a safe bet for a meal.

After wandering up and down a few streets we came across a small place that seemed to match our criteria so we sat down and hoped for the best. We were pleasantly surprised. For less than $2.50, I wound up with a heaping plate of exceptional beef and noodles!

The last leg of our trip was a brisk walk from the restaurant to the seaside. Check that. It was 90 degrees so it was more like a slow, perspiring shuffle. Regardless, we made it in about ten minutes and gratefully plopped down in the sand under the shade of the overpass. 

Since I've been spoiled by Australian beaches, I've got pretty high standards for them. This one ranked somewhere in the middle. It was mostly clean and the sand was soft and smooth. The water temperature was warm enough that I didn't let out my customary squeal, but not so warm that it wasn't refreshing. However, the water was pretty muddy and I could feel a fair amount of sediment and other "sea bits" rummaging between my toes as I waded around. Loren assured me that the "good" beaches were further along the coast so more exploration is in order. But until then, I can certainly content myself with this one. The ocean is the ocean and it still mesmerizes me wherever I am.

Per Chinese culture there were very few people actually in the water or out in the sun. Here the ocean is just something to look at or briefly stroll next to. Sunbathing is very uncommon since the Chinese prefer to keep their skin light. I had expected people to show up with swim gear and sunscreen and instead I found myself smiling at the primly dressed women in their frilly sundresses trying to make their way across the sand in high heels. (Yes. High heels! They wouldn't even take them off at the beach. Did I mention that Chinese people are obsessed with height? Here tall is beautiful and it is rare to see a woman walking around without a heel, wedge or platform of some kind on her feet, regardless of what she's doing. They'll even go hiking in them!!)

Our day concluded back on "walking street" where I found some delicious fruit sorbet to top off the afternoon. All in all, it was a relaxing and informative excursion and seeing as south Xiamen is only 30 minutes away, there will be countless more trips there throughout the year.

If you'd like to see all of the pictures from my trip, just click here!

First week of classes

The first week of classes ended this past Saturday and now that I have three days off to relax and process everything I can finally fill you in on what teaching's been like so far.

The school day here begins at 8:00am sharp and ends at 4:20pm. Each class is 40 minutes long with a ten minute break in between. Because the students here don't have lockers and wouldn't be able to haul their fifteen pounds of textbooks with them, they stay in one classroom the entire day and the teachers are the ones who rotate. Lunch is from 12:00 to 2:00 and during that time both the teachers and students head back to the dorms for naps. (Who knew siestas were a thing in China?)

My schedule is different each day so I teach anywhere from three to five classes depending. Fridays are our "flex day" so we administer mock IELTS exams to the Senior 3s in the morning and have the rest of the day off. In my opinion, a 4 1/2 day work week is the best kind of work week. ;)

As for the students, the first thing I'd like to say is that some of the English names these kids pick are just straight up bizarre. I have one girl named Kaiser and another girl named Roy. One student goes by the name Funny, another is called Joden, and one of Loren's students is named Animal! I mean, what? How on earth am I supposed to keep a straight face when I ask Funny to stand up and answer a homework question? These kids....

I can honestly say, however, that I'm quite fond of the majority of them. They are attentive (mostly because they're curious about the unhinged foreigner wildly gesticulating at the front of the room) and polite and seem to have at least some interest in learning English. I obviously have a few classes that I prefer more than others, but there is only one class that literally makes me want to leap headfirst through the nearest window.

One of my Senior 3 classes consists of eight boys. They are the less advanced Senior 3s and, for all intents and purposes, are the "remedial" class for their grade level. As such, most of them firmly believe that the only reason to come to class is to simply change sleeping positions from their bed to their desk. I have the misfortune of having two back-to-back 40 minute blocks with them on Tuesday mornings and I spend 78 of those 80 minutes slapping their desks to keep them conscious. Sleeping in class is actually a problem in quite a few of the classes here and it is common for the head teachers to walk around the halls during class to rap on windows and wake up students. This is a rather ineffective method, however, since as soon as the teachers move on the heads fall right back on the desks.

I've since come to the realization that there is simply no point in letting "my boys" shoot my blood pressure into the stratosphere. Yes, they sleep in my class and don't want to participate, but it happens with everyone who teaches them and no one else seems to be concerned. So I keep on lecturing and address the two or three students who are attentive and want to learn something and leave the rest of them be. I just find it funny that all of the boys in this class have told me that they are planning to go to university in the US or Australia and yet they see no point in improving their English. Oh, what a rude awakening awaits them...

Thankfully, I have great fellow teachers who I can vent to about any and all frustrations. Both the other foreign teachers and the Chinese teachers are super friendly and helpful and are definitely one of the best perks of this job. To the best of my knowledge, the newest foreign teacher has been hired and should be joining us the week of the 15th. He's from the Philippines, like Maffi, but is a fluent speaker and comes with eight years of teaching experience. I expect that he'll fit right in to our merry little group.